OK, this is a bit unusual for this blog but I wanted to put this out there where everyone could see it – friends, family, strangers… It’s all here, just for you!  Fool’s Gold – or rather, Fool’s Gold Loaf.  The ingredients and steps that you see below were performed on the 31st, as a late-night snack for our New Year’s festivities.

Fool’s Gold Loaf

Serves: 8-12, or one Elvis.

Ingredients:

• 1 loaf of fresh Italian bread
• 1 cube of butter
• 1 small-ish jar of peanut butter
• 1 small-ish jar of concord grape jelly
• fried bacon, to taste (recommended: start with 1/2 of a typical package, work up from there)

Step 1

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Give the loaf of bread a nice massage with butter.  Mmmm, butter. Don’t use the whole cube – just enough to cover the entire loaf, maybe a little more.  Eat the remaining butter – it’ll be the healthiest part of this.  Not liking raw butter? Eh, put it aside & use it for something else. Bake bread in oven for approximately 20 minutes, or until browned but not too crunchy.

Step 1: massage in butter

Steps 2, 3, and 4

Assemble ingredients.  When loaf is browned on the outside, remove from oven and let it cool down slightly.  Or not, your call. Next: cut down the center and remove anything that is remotely healthy, like the actual bread.  You should now have a butter-roasted shell of a loaf of Italian bread.

Step 2: Assemble the ingredients

Step 3: Cut lengthwise

Step 4: remove that healthy bread

Steps 5, 6, and 7

In the bottom shell, place the entire jar of peanut butter.  In the top half, the entire jar of jelly. Stop and admire your work. Then layer the bacon on whichever side makes you happy (we did it on the peanut butter side).  Alternative method: place bacon on the bottom half before smearing that yummy, yummy peanut butter on top.

Step 5: put on the PB & Jelly

Step 6: admire your work so far

Step 7: layer on bacon

Step 8

Bring the two halves together:

So there you go: a fool’s gold loaf.  To eat, cut and serve. Or pick up and gnaw on it.  We recommend eating it in the bathtub – it’ll make the cleanup go much faster.

Oh, and for the record: